The Average Myrtle Is 84: What Baby Names Tell Us About Survival

There's a particular kind of joy in asking questions that seem obvious until you realize nobody's actually answered them. Like: what's the oldest name in the United States?

Not the oldest name (Myrtle existed in the 1800s). The name attached to the oldest people. Which first names belong to the elderly on average?

This isn't just a trivia rabbit hole. It's a lesson in how demographic data can reveal cultural shifts — and maybe even teach us something about choosing names for businesses, products, or domains.

The Math Behind the Magic

Figuring this out requires combining two government datasets: mortality tables (which estimate how many people born in year X will still be alive in year Y) and birth name records (which track how many babies received each name in each year).

By multiplying the number of babies named something in a given year by the probability they're still alive today, you can estimate the current population of people with that name. Weight each surviving person by their age, and you get an average age for every first name.

It's not perfect — immigration data is notably absent from the calculation — but it's robust enough to reveal real patterns.

And the Winner Is... Myrtle

Drumroll, please. The average person named Myrtle is 84 years old in 2025. More than two-thirds of all living Myrtles are over 80.

This makes intuitive sense when you think about it. Myrtle was moderately popular in the early 20th century, then essentially disappeared from newborn nurseries by the 1960s. Everyone carrying that name today was likely born decades ago.

Eleven other names crack the 80+ average age threshold: Arlene, Leroy, Audrey, Eugene, Rita, Betty, Dolores, Florence, Carol, and more. Ten out of twelve are female names.

Why the gender skew? Two reasons collide here. First, women statistically live longer than men, so female name bearers survive to older ages at higher rates. Second, parents historically gave girls' names more variety — more trends, more fads — while boys' names tended to repeat more often (think William, James, John showing up century after century). That faddishness means female names rise and fall faster, creating sharper age clustering.

Names on the Edge of Disappearing

Here's where it gets interesting for anyone who enjoys data patterns: three of the twelve oldest names also appear on lists of names "closest to extinction" — names with dangerously low usage in recent years.

This isn't coincidence. There's a direct correlation between a name's decline in popularity and its bearers' average age. When a name stops being given to babies, its population stops replenishing. The existing bearers age, and eventually, the name ages out with them.

Visualize this on a scatterplot, and you'll notice names naturally cluster into four groups:

1. Classic and enduring — names like William and James that stay popular across generations (low age, high count)
2. Trendy and young — names that spike and fade quickly, carried by younger populations (low age, variable count)
3. Dated and dusty — names that were once popular but are now rarely given (high age, declining count)
4. Fad and fading — names with brief moments of popularity that never achieved mass adoption (medium-to-high age, low count)

The "dated and dusty" category is the graveyard for names like Myrtle, Ethel, and Clarence. Unless a cultural revival happens — and some names do stage comebacks — they'll gradually vanish from living memory.

What Does This Mean for the Rest of Us?

If you're a parent expecting a baby, here's a cheat code: scan the "dated and dusty" quadrant for names with potential. Some of tomorrow's "vintage comeback" names are sitting there right now, overlooked and underused.

And if you're naming a business, product, or domain? The same principle applies. The names that feel timeless have survived multiple generations of faddishness. The ones that feel trendy today will sound dated in twenty years.

Whether you're choosing a baby's first name or a brand's first impression, longevity matters. The old names teach us something about what lasts — and what doesn't.